Susan notes: thanks to the Christmas Traditions website, from which I have borrowed this piece on Mrs. Claus (wife of Santa Claus who rides around the world each year on December 24 in his sleigh drawn by reindeer to distribute gifts and goodies to well-behaved girls and boys).

First introduced to the world in the poem Goody Santa Claus On A Sleigh Ride by poet Katherine Lee Bates (1859-1929), Mrs. Claus has moved out of the kitchen and into the workshop over the past century.

In Bates’ 1889 poem, Mrs. Claus begs to be taken along in the annual Christmas Eve toy delivery sleigh ride with Santa. She has raised perfect candy trees all year long and feels deserving of a chance to participate in the fun.

As they make their deliveries, Santa pops up and down chimneys, and Mrs. Claus stays on the roof and holds the reindeer...

1. Uh, find a baby

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep...
Please no wrinkles, please no bags
Please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, please no gray
As for my belly, please take it away.
Keep me healthy, keep me young,
And thank you Lord, for all you've done.

Susan notes: The late Audrey Hepburn, one of the most beautiful women ever (inside AND out), is said to have offered this timeless advice below.

However, like many things circulated by email and/or found on the Internet, it would appear that the words have been falsely attributed to the simply gorgeous Hepburn.